Anyone that knows my GP knows that he's not the type of person that doesn't pull any punches. I like people like that he's the sort of person I could have a conversation with & if I thought he was talking rubbish I'd tell him & he wouldn't take offence.

So when my GP told me that I was lucky to be alive I listened. Don't get me wrong I already knew that but strangely it was comforting, the hospital gave me no information & after a week of internet searching & going over what I already knew about my results it was a relief to have someone to tell me I wasn't making a mountain out of a molehill.

I can be quite a practical person & got used to the fact that I could have pegged it quite quickly. I did have to rethink how I told people about what was wrong with me after a conversation with my mum. She was with me when the nurse patted me on the arm & said 'Good job we got you in for a scan....' I presumed she knew what that all meant, she didn't. It wouldn't be the way I would want to find out that a child of mine could have died by them using the phrase 'I came very close to pegging it!' in a everyday conversation.

That was a month ago, I haven't been at work in that time & spent a lot of time avoiding Jeremy Kyle on daytime telly, becoming slightly obsessed with 'Diners Drive ins & Dives' & trying not to pass out while having a blood test (I have quite a few!) I did however did get something out of

my force rest time, time to think. I spend a lot of my time thinking but have discovered that over thinking is just a waste of time. So without overthinking it I came up with a 2 point plan:

Slow down & take my time.

Now that I'm feeling better I have a tendency to forget that I am actually ill. If I go anywhere I start off with my usual vim & vigour but after about 5 metres I'm finding hard to breath as I'm too much 'bull in china shop' rather than 'stop & smell the roses'. My GP is allowing me to go back to work under the strict that I'm not to get stressed or over excited while there (Lord knows what he thinks I get up to there!) So I am becoming 'Stop & smell the Roses'  kinda girl.

Don't waste my time on people.

I am a people person that likes to help people & hates to see people struggle,  I will help anyone if I can but this does have a downside. My time is now very special so those people who in the past I feel have used me won't be doing so any longer. And if they try to do it again they are going to be told. I started the ball rolling this morning with a text & if it's not the answer I'm looking for it'll hurt but I'll be spending less time thinking what if. I am no longer willing to try & help people who don't actually want to be helped even though they say they do.

I'm looking forward to next week, the next step it will be make or break time for my new 2 point plan.